V Day Massacre, death to online dating

I had written a post, and scheduled it to publish.  Summary – I dislike valentines day for all the pressures it places on people who don’t have a special someone and those who do.  There, done you get the point.

I also have a whole long list of things that I wanted to talk about, regarding online dating, and I’ll get to those soon.

Instead, what I’d really like to talk about is this.

What I really feel like saying

Online dating, and the bro-swipe culture with its fuckboys and hook-up honeys are an embarrassment.  For my UK readers, online dating is like the Argos Catalogue, a laminated book of dreams.  Screen after screen of ‘product’ that’s over priced and not the quality you’re looking for.  It’s hyping a dream, that’s a Trump-esque nightmare.

You didn’t want to be on here when you’re north of 35, but yet, here you are.

Here’s the problem.  The bro-swipe apps targeted at millennials.  The “premium”  products are targeted at the lonely hearts market over the age of 50.

The bits in between are marketed at a too wide demographic.  Of which, the owners give no shits about, or the people using them.  They only care that they’re getting nice fat payouts.  FYI, I’m talking about Match who own the vast majority of online dating sites, including Tinder.

I could get into the engagement metrics of trying to pull off meeting someone who wants something more than casual sex, but I’ll leave that for another time. 

In short, however, trying to find someone on online dating, is very much akin to finding a bit of hay in a needle stack, it’s full of pricks (of both sexes). 

You’ve probably got a better chance of winning the lottery, marrying George Clooney or (insert some other thing you’ve got a snowballs chance in hell of achieving).

Chances of success are slim

I know ONE person, personally who has met someone who they are now marrying from online dating.  If, unfortunately,  you’re like me and are not prepared to settle, the options available might as well be the McDonalds of dating, it’s fast, cheap and not altogether healthy.

At this precise moment in time, I’ve reached the jaded state of ‘is he a fuckboy, a ghoster or a total waste of my time’.  I no longer see their faces, all I see is a sea of disappointment waiting to happen.  It’s really fucking depressing if I’m honest, and I genuinely, like many others I’m sure, don’t need this shit.

I’d really rather go and stand in the middle of the worst chain pub you can find, in the worst town in England to try and pull than carry on doing this.

In the landscape of #MeToo and modern feminism, why is the only dating site that is geared around women, essentially Tinder 2.0?  Why is there nothing that empowers feminists of both sexes to meet people platonically and romantically, building relationships that really matter?

Why, why, why?

If your experience is as bad as mine, or you are just opting to not use any of these frustrating apps/sites, then let your fingers do the walking and leave me a comment below. I’m interested to hear your views.

Oh, and it’s V day today, which either means a complete sea of disappointment, or you could do something nice for someone. 

Smile at someone at the tube (you’d be surprised at how many people will smile back at you).  Hold a door open for someone, and smile back.  Buy that really cute guy/gal at the coffee shop a coffee (& get their number).  Buy a homeless person some food.  Donate £10 to a charity. Or send a friend who’s had a rough time of late a bouquet of flowers. 

Basically, do something kind, for someone else, without expectation of return.  It’ll make up for a sea of commercialism and disappointment.

I’m off to a gig, alone (due to a friend having the flu – get well soon!!).

Footnote

I’m sat here editing my blog posts, and two & half years after writing this things haven’t changed.  This year I had both ovaries removed on valentines day, whilst simultaneously being ghosted by a guy I thought I’d been seeing.  That’s a post in and of its own.

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